04.21.21 (Unreleased Post)

I was one of the, if not the only one that was the first to join dating apps.

Fresh out of 4 year college relationship and completely lacking the skills to (or the confidence for that matter) to meet guys. The idea seemed okay.... in theory. My friends believed it was the first step in my “Chynna getting her groove back phase”, and I remember just wanting someone to talk too. 

So, after much convincing I agreed and signed up. I was going to date strangers, while my group chat lived vicariously through me. I remembered being asked a series of questions like the adult version of a/s/l: 

1. Where are from?

2. When were you born?

3. What’s your favorite color?

4. What’s political party affiliation?

5. Do you want kids? 

Creating my profile was easy, I stuck to the basics that included my love of writing , reading books, and being a teacher. Nervous of revealing too much of myself, I kept it short but sweet. 

Whatever I wrote it was enough, and the dates came so easily. Every weekend I was trying out a new bar in the city, while simultaneously forwarding my bestfriend names, pictures, phone numbers and license plates. I was enjoying the experience but understood the dangers of meeting strangers. 

When people ask about my experiences with online dating, is it corny to say that I don’t have any horror stories? I met really dope guys. Men with careers, nice teeth, and a sense of humor. Men who took things at my pace and followed my lead. I luckily wasn’t catfished, or didn’t have any one run out on a bill (this actually happened to a friend of mine).

I witnessed and listened to some of the craziest experiences, but could genuinely (and proudly) say I’ve been lucky. 

Now don’t get me wrong though, I had some moments. I ghosted a few, and some returned the favor. I used men for food dates simply because I could. I dropped a few from my rotation because they couldn’t dress or they talked too much. However, a few turned into situationships, while others allowed me to bask in the company of a man.

Which if you ask me, is always a great experience. 

At the time, online dating definitely helped me put myself out there, and in hindsight I needed the experience. I lacked so much in my social and dating skills because I choose to be committed during my college experience. Furthermore, I lacked knowledge of self, my needs, my wants. I had no idea what my turn ons or turn offs were. I can at least give partial credit to this online dating experience for challenging me to navigate the unknown. BUTTTT….all good things come to an end right?? Dating online didn’t didn’t last long because I soon got tired of it. The swiping, the screening, the repetitive conversations. Lacked excitement, so I left the apps alone & decided to meet men the normal way brunches, parties, and social events. 

So boom... we’re in a panny. 

Everything has completely shut all the way down. Including me being able to bag a Que at Grits and Biscuits ( yes this actually happened lol). Dating as we know it? Completely at a standstill. In the height of the pandemic, I think everyone realized how outside accessibility allowed us to cease the day in our singleship. It suddenly being taken away from us, how were we to combat it?

Through hinge, tinder, bumble, and whatever other millennial dating app was available to us. 

So similar to you all, I was working from home... in the middle of the pandemic on the dating sites. In full transparency, I hated it. I guess because I already felt like I’ve been through the online dating phase in my life, but it being the only way to interact with the opposite sex felt forced. Reluctantly (& through friend peer pressure…again) I stayed. To my surprise, I enjoyed my second time at the rodeo. I still was on a streak of meeting really nice men. However, I think the dates were top tier compared to my first experience, and that’s because of the creativity behind the dates. We all owe that to the panny right? Forcing us to think outside the box and woo people outside of fine dining and wining. I went on hiking dates, picnic dates, and park dates. I loved it. More than ever, it forced me to really asses the quality of men I was dating because of the originality behind the dates. The more intuitive the man was on the date, the more time I spent getting to know him.

I liked it for all that it was, but couldn’t help asking myself was all this enough? Certainly, under these life circumstance online dating was what I had/ have but I would be lying to you all of I said I didn’t miss the excitement of putting myself out there. Or eyeing a man from across the room at a party. Or even realizing you and shorty know the lyrics to “Dreams & Nightmares” in the spot. Those moments I cherish. Those moments you won’t find swiping left and right. 

Overall this online experience has been indifferent. Am I still dating the men I first met during the panoramic? Fuck no lmao. However, have I throughly enjoyed meeting strangers, basking in fun activities, and creating dating memories to share with my nieces and nephews? Hell yes. 

The love connections that come out of this virtual dating experience is still yet to be seen.

For the time being (that is until I am able to back this ass up again) it gets the job done.... I guess. 

With love, 

Chy 

2022

Happy New Year Loves!

It has been forever since I’ve written a post (almost close to a year), and to be honest I have no excuse outside of I have been uninspired.

Life has been LIFE-ING

& in all the ways possible ….mentally, physically, professionally, and emotionally.

Working through the phases of being an adult is exhausting, & I don’t think we talk about that enough.

I am grateful to have found some light and inspiration in doing what I love again lately. I could blame it on this new year, and branching on the opportunity to “start fresh”. However, we all know that would be complete….. BS! I think my new found energy is rooted in my choice to choose me, and WIN this year. I turn THIRTY-WON this year, and I made a promise to myself to see where my consistency takes me. I made the promise to win in every aspect I wanted to change.

My major focus is my health, my transitioning out of teaching, and growing my brand this year. Addionally, I am not dating for the next six months (until my birthday… no worries I will fill you all in). The plan is to document this journey through my Instagram and my blog. I think I finally have reached a point where I have recognized that I want more out life, I want it all & all I need to do to obtain it is to SHOW UP.

So cheers to 2022 being my winning year! I am coming for it all.

- Chy

April showers, bring May flowers... right?

Hey Loves,

First off, happy first week of May & …

Happy Teachers Appreciation week !

Starting off this brand new month by showing love and appreciation to all the hardworking educators is the perfect way to gear up for the opportunities May will bring. The month of April genuinely had your girl down real bad. I spent majority of the month diving into self-reflection and acknowledging the work I still need to do personally. April was eye-opening, but also critical to certain aspects of my life I am evolving from.

So, I wanted to share a couple of the thoughts I encountered this past month. I used the @My9things technique, which is a cool and simple process I use when I am reflecting & talking to God. The beauty of this technique is that it does not require much, but to simply place your thoughts on paper (or in your iPhone notes). Although, this process does not have a specific writing order (for my Type A personalities), it has been super helpful when I am experiencing writers block or just have too many thoughts I need to get out of my head.

Check out my reflection of April below…

1.  Celebrating my pops turning 50 reminds me how generous life is. Spending quality time, listening to his stories, and looking through photo albums are the father-daughter moments I cherish the most. The Aries sun to my Leo sun. So grateful I’m experiencing this life as your daughter. I love you daddy. 

2.  April was wicked to the kid. I am so happy to see her go, so I can welcome May with open arms and new blessings. 

3.  Consistency & discipline… nobody ever wants to discuss the difficulty of maintaining these specific characteristics in adulthood.  

4.  Are happiness and pain synonymous? Does one lead directly to the other?

If not then explain how really high moments in life are always interrupted by devastating lows?

5.  The countdown to 30 is starting....I know this is childish to ask but…. does it hurt? This upcoming chapter in my life is lowkey exciting and nerve wrecking.

SN: Sooooooo do a new batch of men reveal themselves when the clock strikes 30? Inquiring minds really want to know or rather need to prepare :)

6.  Happy Birthday Tasha Mack. I love you sister. 

7.  God, you have been extremely patient with me these last few months. I hear you. I feel you. I’m working. I acknowledge that this is not the pace you see fit. So, I ask that you walk alongside me & keep me steadfast in my purpose.

8.  They say you attract what you are, but does anyone else find it difficult identifying your flaws in the negative traits of others? This month in therapy we have identified parts of me that is just as emotionally unavailable as the men I have dated. Baby a whirlwind would be an understatement. I am not excited about pealing back the layers of this new found awakening. Partially because it includes me acknowledging parts of myself that I have kept protected for so long.

9.  Why are we back in the school buildings? If y’all hate teachers then just say that... 

Until next time guys,

Chy

Happy Birthday Mommy

Today, my superwoman, my best friend, my mommy turns 50!

So my sister & I wanted to share 50 reasons why WE LOVE YOU….

1. We love how generous you are

2. We love your sense of humor 

3. We love the way you support us 

4. You never judge us

5. You listen to us cry countless times over our hearts being disappointed 

6. You give your unsolicited advice even when we don’t want to hear it, it’s needed. 

7. You pushed the inner reader in us

8. You have a smile that lights up any room you’re in

9. You’ve accepted all of our friends as your own

10. The limits you’d go for Asia and I is unmatched 

11. You’ve taught us the art of forgiveness 

12. You’ve taught us the art of letting go

13. You’ve taught us the beauty in building a relationship with God 

14. You gave up your dreams so we could have ours

15. You taught us manners

16. You taught us how to clean (thanks mom)

17. You always answer our FaceTime calls

18. You’re our best friend. 

19. You gave me (Chynna) your whole face (thanks mommy)

20. You always see the silver lining in every situation

21. You never let a man take you fi eediat 

22. You always put Asia and I first 

23. You’re the worlds greatest fucking aunt.

24. You’re a safe space for everyone 

25. You learned how to be a great mom even when you didn’t have yours to show you the ropes 

26. You never let your illness define you. Even when it tried to take you from us you perservered. You fought. I love you for not leaving us too soon, because we needed you. 

27. You’re our superhero

28. You’re a good listener.

29. You’re so creative

30. You make the best lamb ever 

31. You’re so smart

32. You have great taste in bags, shoes and clothes 

33. Your skincare regimen speaks for itself. 50 where???

34. You agreed to be a dog grandma even though the idea repulses you 

35. You support our dreams, even when they’re nuts 

36. You never stopped being a teacher or student... you constantly grow as a mother and human and allow us to grow on our own as well.

37. You love hard and genuinely.

38. You constantly and consistently show us an unmatched amount of strength and resilience

39. You never walked away from the table no matter the cards you were dealt.

40. Your honesty is both irritating and refreshing

41. You’ve never been afraid to be exactly who you are

42. You’re not afraid to be vulnerable

43. You choose your battles.. you know exactly what you should and should not give your energy to

44. You’re hard to forget... everyone who encounters you is forever impacted by your presence

45. You’ve defied odds. Countless times you could’ve given up and quit but instead you’ve stayed strong and powered through any obstacle

46. You never walked away from the table no matter the cards you were dealt

47. You’re a safe space for all of your nieces and nephews

48. You’re an amazing friend, and taught us the importance of being one to our friends

49. You’ve taught us the importance of boundaries

50. You’re simply amazing, and we’re so fortunate to experience a mothers love like yours….

We love you mommy :)

Welcome back Chy!

Hey loves!

I’m backkkkk

& to be quite honest I’m putting into the universe for good (& consistent) this time around.

Everyone loves to talk about the art of being a writer, but can we discuss the complexity of creatives block, and the way it haunts us in this pandemic? I have been completely appreciative of the reminders to be gentle with myself, and to not succumb to social media pressures of producing mass content. The reality of it has allowed me to practice patience and tap into a level of personal reflection throughout my quarantine experience. As a result, I have been reminded of the joy creating used to bring me. 

So I’m here, tapping back into one of my sacred spaces, and sharing it with you all.... again LOL. 

This time around, I wanted to focus on a couple of new things I’ve grown a love for:

My Queen from Queens page, is all about my personal life. I used to write stories about the realities of balancing dating and my personal life. While I still plan to reflect on my journey off single, I want to share some of my recent health and spiritual awakening experiences. Life has been gracious, even in my mist of confusion. 

On my TEACH page, here you’ll find ideas and strategies I’ve implemented in my classroom. The virtual classroom has been full of trial and error experiences. I’ll capture some of my Crawford Chronicles moments here. 

My KICKS page, is where you will get an insight to my sneaker obsession. I wear a perfect 10.5 in women, and for the majority of my life I used to compare myself to LaCienega from the Proud Family. Growing up, finding sneakers that built my confidence, while managing my feet complex was (& still is) a journey within itself. There’s a space in the sneaker community for women with “big” feet, so let’s tap in. Here you all will find some reviews & pictures of my fly fits & kicks.

Lately, I have been capturing moments between my personal, professional, and spiritual life. Hoarding all of my ideas to myself and only sharing them with my close friends. I’m just here to tap back into my creativity. Hoping you all enjoy the journey with me. 

- Chy